Desert Walk

Scripture: "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" (Psalm 10:1)

At least once in most Christian's lives, we experience a "desert walk". One's "desert" can mean feeling distance from God for no known reason. It can mean that for some reason one isn't hearing from God like they used to. It could mean that one feels their prayers are not being answered. It could be a combination of any number of similar situations listed above.

In Psalm 10:1, David is talking to God - I'm sure it felt as though God had turned His back on him. But in reality, God doesn't turn His back on His children. In verse 17, the Psalm continues, "You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them and you listen to their cry..." David always had a way of lamenting to God, asking why He had turned His back, but then in the end, David knew God was with him the whole time, listening to every cry, seeing every tear, understanding his anguish and turmoil.

We have a choice on how to proceed when we feel that kind of distance from God. For some, it is a test of faith. Some feel the desert is far too hostile an environment to stay in, and they fall away from God. For others, they pull their hat on tighter, clench their collars to their necks and keep walking, even if it means walking up and down sand dunes for days or even months, knowing all along that God is the only One that is going to see them through.

I sensed I was in a desert over the past year or so. I felt distant from God. At times, I'd get a peek at the oasis, I'd get that cool drink of water, a refreshing breeze on my face, but then I would once again feel distance for reasons unknown. No amount of self speculation turned up any conclusions as to why. But I pressed on. I never stopped praying, asking, talking to God. I knew that He didn't move but that perhaps I had. I knew that no matter what I endured in this desert of distance - He was always there beside me even if I no longer heard from Him or could sense Him as close as I used to.

There is no "a-ha" moment that it broke. There is no turning point that I remember when I felt my desert walk came to an end. But I sit here writing today, feeling I am out of the desert. And why did I walk through it? I don't know - but I am fairly certain that sometimes God allows things to happen to strengthen us.

Recently our pastor gave our church a challenge. He challenged us to pray the prayer at the end of Psalm 139: "Search me O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

That is a deep prayer. One not to be taken lightly. How many of us are truly willing to be THAT vulnerable with God? To be searched and tested, and in a sense, shaken down to our core? Because if the Holy Spirit reveals anything "offensive" - we have to be ready to give it up and change!

I took that challenge. I don't know if it's that prayer that broke the desert or something else, but I no longer feel distant from my God. But I feel I'm back in communion with Him, and ready to continue being open and vulnerable, and why not? Isn't it silly that we would think we can hide anything from Him in the first place? But most of all, I'm eager to be obedient to His promptings, which I often pushed aside due to my busy life, before. "Yeah, I know I need to send that person a note ... later, ok?" But later never came. "Ok, ok, I"ll pray for that person, right after I do this other thing over here ..." and I would promptly forget.

If we don't actively obey the Lord, why would you expect Him to keep knocking on your door? He won't leave you for forsake you - but He will honor your desire to pull away from Him. So all He can do at that point is patiently wait while your life falls apart for you to turn your life back over to Him. But Praise God we have a faithful Father who does sit back and wait for us to call on Him again, and He is faithful to respond.

Prayer Request: Pray for those who are in a spiritual desert, feeling distant and forgotten by God. Pray that they will hang onto the knowledge that God IS right there with them, that He will make Himself known to them once more. Pray for the endurance and faithfulness we all need to hang onto Him in times of distress.

Prayer: Lord, sometimes we feel distant from You, and it's particularly painful when we don't know why. Especially when it lasts for an extended period of time. Break through the walls of those who cry out to You, Lord. Give them strength to endure and the faithfulness to keep walking with You even when You seem far away. Draw them close to You and help them to feel Your loving presence again.
Amen