Unrecognized Love

Scripture: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” (I John 4:7)

Love, I don’t need to tell you, is a pretty powerful emotion. Yet, I find it amazing that despite a diverse range of emotions where we feel “love”, our English language has only one word in our vocabulary that covers it all.

There’s our first crush as children, when we describe what we feel is “love”. There’s our first boyfriend or girlfriend love. Man and wife love. Love between close friends. Parent-child, brother-sister, extended family members, father figures, mother figures, even a love we have for our pets.

At some point in our lives, we often realize we have a love for someone and didn’t even realize it until a crisis happened.

This week, one of my cousins emailed me and let me know her dad (my uncle) had been injured in a tumble down the stairs at his home. He bumped his head, required stitches, and is in the hospital for observation. He’s in good spirits, and there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage. But upon hearing this news, it occurred to me, as I emailed my cousin back, how much her father meant to me.

My father passed away when I was a little girl. I grew up with very few positive male figures in my life. Unfortunately, as a result of being born the last of five children, I did not grow up with my two older brothers. By the time I was 7 years old, both brothers had joined the Air Force.

But then there was this particular uncle. He has always brought me joy since I was a child, because there was a “private joke” between the two of us – and my parents. Every time we went to his house, he would always playfully stop me at the front door, stoop down to see my face, and with his thumbs, he would part my bangs and say something in Spanish that would make all the grownups laugh.

I never felt laughed at or teased, but rather – I was included in something endearing. I could tell they were laughing at whatever he was saying – all I knew is it had something to do with his parting my bangs. I was not brought up bilingual, so I wouldn’t know for years what he said.

As I relayed to my cousin how her dad has always held a special place in my heart, because I always kind of looked forward to that endearing exchange at the front door, I realized I hold a special kind of love for him I never realized I had. I was in so much pain as a child that no one knew about, and he was a light in that darkness. (I didn’t tell her that last part, by the way.)

Having realized this, I have decided to sit down today and write him a card – and let him know what those humorous exchanges as I entered his home meant to me. As far as I can remember, he is tone of few male figures in my life that stopped what he was doing, and paid special, positive attention to me. Even if it was for just a moment.

It also makes me think of one of my little cousins who is 3 years old and is being raised by a single mom. I know how hard being a single mom is – not from personal experience, but from knowing friends and family that have been single parents. It’s not an easy route. And sometimes I see the wear and tear on both mother and son.

I hope I can be to my baby cousin what my uncle was for me; an occasional respite from the storms in his life. I hope I can give my cousin that positive feeling that my uncle gave me when I most needed it.

So I ask you this question: Who has been a respite in your life at one time or another? Who has shined a light in the tunnel of emotions when you needed it most? I encourage you to think about this – and drop them a card or letter. Don’t wait for a crisis to happen – brighten someone’s day today - just because!

And by the way, I would later learn what my uncle was saying. But it loses its true meaning (and humor) in the translation from Spanish to English. Just something to do with “Who turned out the lights?” And when I visit my uncle to this day – he often still stops me at the door – parts my bangs with his thumbs – and says that same phrase. And it never gets old; especially to see the smile on his face and joy it brings to him, my aunt and me.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the people You bring into our lives to shine light into our darkness. And more than that, Lord, I ask you to help each of us to BE that light for someone in need, especially as the holidays draw near. More than that, let our light shine far beyond the holidays. Use us to bring joy and peace to those who need it all year long. Amen

Prayer request: Pray for those who find the holidays difficult; who feel alone and distant from family and friends. Pray also for God to use you in the lives of others, to bring a ray a hope, a reprieve from emotions that dampen their joy.