Honor your father and mother

Scripture: "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

Within the past two weeks, I have taken time to reflect, as my mom's and dad's birthdays have passed, as did Mother's Day. My father passed away suddenly when I was 10 years old, my mother, just eight years ago.

I no longer grieve my losses, having processed those through. But I certainly never stop missing or thinking about my parents. They are often close to mind despite their physical absence. But I enjoy the reminders left behind, now. The smell of my father's aftershave will waft by me in a mall, or I will playfully rib my best friend and point at a beautiful piece of furniture or table arrangement and tell her, "Look, my mom would love that." Often times they come to mind in unexpected but enjoyable ways. In my own life, I find I do things "just like mom".

This fifth commandment, "Honor your father and mother..." became so real to me while my mom was very sick, and in her later stages of life. Being the youngest of five children and the only unmarried one, I eagerly moved in with my mom, and I tended to her needs. With the time we had left together, I was able to develop an even more intimate relationship with her, one that I will cherish till the Lord takes me from earth.

I always thought "Honor your father and mother ..." meant to obey, be good, do what's right in their eyes, etc. But what I wasn't expecting was the honor I felt for my mom in being a part of helping her out of this world and into Christ's arms.

It was an "honor" to make her comfortable, tend to her every need, make sure someone was home when I was not. To me, I was paying this woman back for bringing me into this world, nursing me as a helpless infant, giving up so much of her self in order to tend to my thirst, hunger, tummy aches, diaper changes and temper tantrums. In my teens, I gave her so much grief as I exerted my independence from her, went through hormonal changes, missed dinner to hang out with friends, came home with a new scratch in her car that she loaned me.

It was an honor to tenderly give back just a small fraction of what she gave me throughout my life. I didn't mind giving up a fraction of my "freedom" to be with her, to console her, and even to cry with her.

And in the end, my siblings and I honored her again by being able to go through the difficult process of carrying out her will with ease and respect to each other. A true testimony to the children she raised so well and left behind.

Prayer: Lord, please comfort those of us who have lost their mothers and/or fathers. Assist us all through the grieving process, and help us to feel your comfort, presence and peace. Help each of us to hang onto the good memories left behind, and enjoy the moments of remembrance as they come.